30 years ago, any mom whose child was well fed and well dressed could be considered good. However, modern society has placed quite high demands on women with children. In addition to their direct duties, they have to perform the functions of pediatricians, psychologists, and early development specialists on a 24/7 basis for several years. In doing this, they sometimes even torment themselves with guilt if something doesn’t “go perfectly.”
I went through a 3-year maternity leave and I firmly know that being a mom in the 21st century is a job that others don’t value at all. I’d like to tell readers why a mom’s heroism is just as important today as it was in our grandmother’s days, despite the existence of modern diapers, dishwashers, and robot vacuum cleaners.
Moms spend every day alone with their kid
Never has a woman’s life changed so much with the arrival of a baby as it does today. After many moms leave the maternity hospital, they face complete isolation. Their relatives talk to them on the phone, their friends on social media, their husband spend time at work all day, and mom and son spend time face to face from morning to night.
My son became the first newborn that I held in my arms in my 30s. I had no experience of interacting with children, so the main emotions during the first months after delivery were fear and confusion. I often worried that I was doing something the wrong way. Why don’t you sleep at night? Why do you cry so often? Something’s wrong?
Due to the pregnancy I gained 28 kg and I lost 33 in the first day after the birth of my son. No diets or gyms, simply because of stress. My baby wanted to be in my arms all the time, that’s why I had to learn to do my homework with my son under my arm, and a simple trip to the bathroom became a special operation “getting to go in 10 seconds before neighbors call social services for their screams ”.
My grandmother left her eldest son at home at the age of three months and went to work. She would come back at lunchtime to feed him and again she would go back to work. My father had a bit more luck: his 5-year-old “grown” brother stayed with him. Today this is unacceptable, but 70 years ago it was absolutely normal.
Modern moms do not leave their children alone, they do not let them whimper in the crib thinking: “he will cry and only fall asleep”, they feed them at his request and instantly satisfy all the needs of the little one, completely forgetting his own. Has any generation of women done this before? No. Doesn’t this deserve respect?
Moms have to make the right decisions all the time
Like any other modern mom, I was forced to make decisions all the time on which the health, development and well-being of the baby depended. Massages, early swimming, children’s development cards? Neither our moms nor our grandmothers were tormented with this endless choice. My brain literally explodes. And yours?
I go to the store and find the following: normal porridge, with omega-3s, yogurt with probiotics or biolact? Or in the case of diapers, where each of them has something special. Dozens of articles, hundreds of packages and I have to study, analyze and choose what will be the best for my kid. Where did all those Neo daily dilemmas go?
There are no clear recommendations anymore. The pediatrician, faced with a respiratory infection, prescribes a prescription with 10 points and the following words: “My obligation is to prescribe all this, whether you take it or not, that is your problem.” The first time, honestly, I went to the pharmacy, left 50 USD there and tried to put all this in my son. Experience has shown me that 80% of the list is simply useless nutritional supplements.
In my childhood, we were cured of all existing diseases with cupping, cold baths with mustard powder or milk with honey. We used clothes that we could get or sew. I chose my son his first romper for the cold season at 3 weeks: I took into account the comments of the most experienced moms and advice from forums. In total, I spent $ 130 and my son grew 3 inches in just two months. That was how I got to know the platforms to sell second-hand clothes.
Of course, the variety is something incredible. I remember the empty shelves of the 90s and, without a doubt, I do not dream of returning to those times of pain. But the need to continually make important decisions is a serious emotional burden, which falls on the shoulders of new moms. And we face it every day because who will do it but us?
Who do you think raising children is or was more difficult for: modern moms, their moms, or their grandmothers?